Milan

Let me start this by stating that this is an accidental review. I had no intentions of reviewing Milan until my experience there was just too hilarious not to share with the interwebs.

I'd been following the blog of the Groupawn since he started his gig a few weeks ago in hopes that he'd find his way to Baltimore. Knowing the awesomeness that is Groupon, I felt it would be just as awesome to meet someone who was literally living off of them every day for the next year. Also, he loves food, and we love food, so really how can we NOT hang out? Yeah.

So, the Groupawn had a groupon for Milan and was heading there with another couple and after a day long texting session, I decided to join them and have a dessert. The four of us were seated at the bar and the three of them had already been there for about 45 minutes by the time I arrived and were just finalizing their orders. Josh grabbed a chair for me and I sat down just in time to be completely ignored by the bartender. Seriously, he took their orders, skipped over me and then wandered away. So I waited for my next opportunity to grab a menu and a Coke, and when it finally presented itself (about 10 minutes later) my wishes were fulfilled. Sorta.

See, I got my tiny Coke but it took the guy probably another 10 minutes to find a dessert menu and then it took about another 10 minutes for me to be able to order from said menu. I got the Torte di Fromaggio which was...well, it was unbelievably delicious. A hearty slice of honey ricotta cheese cake infused with a light lemony flavor decorated with fresh cream and a sprig of mint and balsamic strawberry compote. I shared bites with the group so that they too could enjoy the cool creaminess of this cheesecake.

Josh, the Groupawn was kind enough to share a piece of his crabcake with me and I must say that it's one of the better ones I've had. It was well seasoned, presented beautifully and actually had big pieces of crabmeat in it unlike some you get where it's just like a ball of breaded nothing. The tangy orangey sauce that came with it was a very nice complement.

The four of us had such a good time talking and sharing stories that I didn't really notice that it had taken a little over an hour for an incorrect order of raw, rose shaped fish to be delivered to the other three.

I'm sure Josh will write more about the experience in his blog, since the things that happened to him and the couple were just downright hilarious they were so terrible. As we were trying to cash out and go, it seemed there was some confusion about the groupon use, whose bill was whose and then some general douchebaggery from several members of staff. I'd heard that this place was over-priced with an air of snobbery but that the food was delicious if not pretentious and I have to say it's all pretty much correct. The restaurant is gorgeous, elegantly designed and looks somewhat like you're dining in a private mansion. The food is always presented as if it's art, yet it all tasted wonderful. I'm pretty sure that several members of the waitstaff got their start working for Abercrombie and Fitch because they seemed to be pros at ignoring you and looking perfect.

Now, I will not say you should not go to this restaurant because it definitely was a unique experience. However, I will leave you with this thought: it is an Italian restaurant that serves sushi and turns into a nightclub after 10 and their motto is "Where Food Meets Fashion", but they are located about three blocks from the projects in Baltimore.

Milan, I will give you 5 noms because your food was delicious, but -3 noms because your staff is...pretentious. Grand total of 2 noms.